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From Suppressing your Anger to Unleashing your Dragon

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Each step on my path to embodied awakening has been marked by profound discoveries, but none as transformative as learning to embrace my inner dragon: the fierce guardian of my tender inner child. 

This journey began when I realised my tendency to people-please, repress, and eventually explode was suffocating my true self.

I was compromising my sense of safety, freedom, and power, and hurting those I love — all to try to feel more loved. 

It was during an intense Shamanic Tantric breath-work session that I first felt the stirrings of my dragon’s power. In a moment of raw release, a primal roar built within me… A sound and fury I had long suppressed out of fear.

Since then, I’ve learned to let my dragon express itself fully, especially when boundaries are crossed.

Now, I can hiss, vocalise, punch pillows, roar, shake, breathe fire, then grieve and recognise what I need, all within my own being. Then if I need to, I can make a request, or set healthy boundaries.

Where I once shrank, I now stand firm. 

My anger is no longer repressed or a storm wreaking havoc in blind reaction, but an integrated guidepost of power signalling where my window of tolerance lies.

Anger is one of the most powerful emotions, capable of both harm and destruction, but also a catalyst for great transformation. 

Feeling the rage inside of you is hugely empowering, especially if you’ve had hard trauma such as physical or sexual abuse. You’re angry for a reason and it is ok and safe to feel that anger. 

Because anger is such a powerful emotion, it can often scare and make us uncomfortable…

But anger can also feel good. It’s a primal force that, when given permission to move throughout the body, can shift an exhausted or victimised state into an empowered state. 

It can be a path to freedom when you stop denying and repressing it… A gateway into setting healthy boundaries, healing shame and bringing light to areas of your life that are out of alignment. 

Before Tantra I wouldn’t get outwardly angry; my anger was either suppressed or came out in passive aggressive behaviour. Then, once or twice a year I would have a total breakdown of psychotic rage. I felt like there was a time-bomb within me just waiting to go off.

Anger is a very judged emotion, which is why it can be so easy to suppress. For many people, when something agitates or triggers them and they feel the first stirrings of anger, instead of feeling that in their body, they bypass the emotion and stay stuck in the mind. 

Here is a process to help break this pattern and integrate your anger into power:

  1.  Notice the feeling of anger when it first comes up. When this happens, get in touch with your primal energy and feel into your body. Take deep, grounding breaths and imagine your breathing out a little stream of fire. Get out of your head, let go of the “story” in your mind – trust the impulses of your body. 
  1.  Start to vocalise your frustration, let go of right and wrong, let go of finding solutions and just keep feeling and vocalising your anger. Let the sound come from your body and not your throat. 
  1.  Fully express all your anger; if there’s a pillow near you, allow yourself to hit the pillow as you release your rage. Maybe you want to roar, maybe you want to say “NO” or maybe you want to stomp with fury. Literally let off some steam: shake your body, shake your hands, blow some fire and feel your dragon wings unfurling!
  1.  When you feel like you’ve emptied out all your anger, slowly bring your body to stillness. Bring your hands to your heart and feel your life force energy.

 Once you’ve owned your anger, often what’s underneath that anger is a lot of grief and disappointment. It’s from this place that you integrate your anger into power. 

When you allow your fire to be expressed and felt, that is where the real jewel of power can be transmuted from victimhood. You’ve felt your rage and owned that — you’re not ever angry for no reason. 

The reason might be because you’re angry at someone else or maybe you’re angry at yourself. Often, we feel a lot of shame because we let ourselves or others down. Let anger become the gateway to fully feel that shame.

Let it be an opportunity to feel your rage and set strong and clear boundaries with yourself or others. Or, maybe the opposite is true and after letting off some steam, you now feel more flexible. 

The power choice you can make in situations when anger arises is this: When you feel a charge, instead of letting that anger rule your actions or suppressing it, go within and check out what’s going on.

That is how you discover who you are. It’s how you discover what you’re a “no” to AND what you’re a “yes” to. 

The biggest gift that owning my anger gave me is the ability to set clear and firm boundaries based on how I feel, free of whatever the mind tried to tell me. 

Going deep into my emotional body and into my anger allowed me to go beyond the superficial level of the mind and into the deeper layers of what’s truly important. 

The way you feel and express your anger will also have a massive effect on your relationships. If you’re suppressing what you’re angry about in the moment, it’s only going to come out later down the track or in another fight, likely worse than it would have been if you just expressed the anger when it first arose within you.  

By feeling your anger, you can then feel what’s out of alignment in your relationship. This gives the relationships the greatest chance to shift into alignment or for you to see an incompatibility. 

If you’d like to journey deeper into feeling your anger and learn embodiment practices to guide you into embracing your inner dragon, click here to access our free 8-day online course “Tantra101”.

 

 

 

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Chantelle Raven

Chantelle raven is a gifted healer and sought after international speaker on sacred relationship and sacred sexuality. Her mission is providing education in radical self-responsibility and the sacred dance of masculine and feminine within and without.