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I remember when I was in the trying stage of my spiritual journey. Trying to get rid of my pain. Trying to get more pleasure. Trying to be some ideal Tantrica or Yogi. Trying different relationships, different methods, different strategies. This trying was fraught with suffering, drama, disappointment, attachment, resistance, pressure and expectation.
Then the real spiritual journey began. When I stopped trying and decided to be fully present and fully alive with my direct experience. When I began to surrender to whatever was showing up in my inner and outer world. When I began to truly listen to my body, my emotions and my heart with humility rather than impulse.
It is for this reason that in all my sessions, workshops, retreats I teach people to start asking the right question.
So many people are asking the wrong question, whether they know it or not and that question is inevitably: “How can I get rid of my pain and discomfort?” or, “How can I control my life to avoid pain and discomfort?”
The right question is, “How can I deeply open to what is here in my experience with tenderness instead of resistance?”
In this week’s blog we explore why the authentic spiritual path is not an absence of pain but rather a full embrace of it. So that when we are scared, we can shake. When we are sad, we can cry. When we are angry, we can growl – without making anyone our saviour or enemy. We learn to just be with what is without resistance then deepen intimacy through vulnerability rather than creating separation through the minds narrative.
This is deep, brave work.
A lot of people pursue spirituality as the answer to their pain. “If I become awakened then I won’t have to feel pain anymore.” That’s simply not true. Awakening does not mean that you are no longer human and as long as you are human, you will feel pain. It is part of the deal of being in a human body and experiencing separation, essentially from God.
When we LIVE Tantra, we do not divide human and spiritual; and we do not think that life or relationships should be free of pain. We realise that pain and pleasure will always be in the flow of life and that we must fully embrace the mess as well as the bliss of the human condition.
We realise that any outer conflict is a reflection of our inner conflict and resistance. Why? Because they are our closest reflection. Our partners show us everything that is missing inside of us as well as everything that is unconscious within us. Of course our relationships are going to bring up pain! And yet our primary motivation (whether we are aware of it or not) for a lot of relationships is to save us from our pain and lead us to the yellow brick road of happily ever after.
But as we found out in Wizard of Oz, the yellow brick road is a hero’s journey – filled with not only joy but also challenge. As we come to know ourselves and break free from the confines of our known safety, so too must the heart and mind break open.
We have this idea that someone special, a soulmate, the “one”, the perfect partner, the wizard at the end of the road will have the answers to take us “home”.
There’s nothing wrong with that, it’s part of the human pull to intimacy and relationship, but unless it’s fully exposed and integrated, and unless you have a willingness to get honest and see it for what it is, it remains an unconscious shadow that consistently creates suffering. You are the only one who can take you home – home to the realisation that whether you are feeling pain or pleasure you can be in your ease. You can release the stories and the narratives and simply be with your direct experience, free from the resistance to pain that creates suffering.
Resistance manifests in archetypal expressions such as the Victim, the Know it All and the Wounded Child. If you would like to look deeper into these shadows, please look at our online course: Ignite Your Power.
The seeking of fulfilment through another is very similar to the seeking of freedom from pain through spirituality. Seeking freedom from pain through spirituality has the same hope that it will take all your pain away. The same dream that you will be finally complete, finally whole, finally always happy. The same delusion that somehow your life will be perfect, and you will have everything you want. The ego is looking for something outside itself in order to be satiated, elevated, or made complete, at least temporarily. This creates these unrealistic expectations that we shouldn’t feel pain in our relationships because they are there to fulfil us and free us from our pain. Likewise, we shouldn’t feel pain if we are ‘spiritual’ because of the idea that spirituality is there to fulfil us and free us from our pain.
Inevitably however, whether you are ‘spiritual’ or not, whether you are in relationship or not, you are going to feel pain. And if you expect spirituality or a relationship to save you from this pain, you are going to be disappointed and think that there is something wrong with your relationship or something wrong with your spirituality.
When our expectations of the perfect life are not met, we create drama out of our resistance to pain and keep searching for a perfection that doesn’t exist. The dream of relationship becomes the drama of relationship and the dream of spiritual awakening becomes the drama of spiritual awakening.
Very often, what you call love is the feeling of the other giving you what you want in order to make you feel good. When inevitably, the other doesn’t give you what you want, when they don’t respond to you the way you were expecting, when things don’t go according to plan or they do not live up to your ideal vision of them, you create separation in some way through withdrawing (flight) and/or arguing (fight).
Internally, you abandon yourself and/or create an internal war from your resistance which manifests a tight knot in your belly.
What if instead you turned tenderly toward your pain and surrendered to it? What if you could move and breath and release that knot through your full acceptance of whatever arises in your human experience?
You open to our pain when you:
You may also need some bodywork by a skilled practitioner which is a wonderful and often necessary support for releasing deeply held trauma and tension locked in the body and mind.
You can book sessions with me or our team of skilled ELIYAH practitioners, in person in Perth or online, via our website HERE.
Individual or couple sessions are a great way to identify and work through debilitating patterns in your life and relationships. In these sessions you will learn how to:
– Value, protect and care for Self
– Cultivate healthy masculine and feminine
– Empower inner and outer relating
– Overcome addictions, anxiety, depression & stress
– Get through difficult times such as relationship break down
You will also experience Energy-based Body Work which includes:
– Flushing trauma from your nervous system so that you can be in your ease
– De-armouring the heart and the sex centre so that you can expand into more love, pleasure and self-compassion
– Awakening your consciousness and sexuality
* * *
You can also check out our upcoming Living Tantra retreat in Bali in March 2020.
During this retreat you will look at and learn how to release all the way you try to avoid pain – through your relationship, your spiritual practice, your addictions, your hidden motives, your control – and all the ways that you attach to pleasure – through expectations, chasing a certain goal, being fixed on things looking a certain way. When we spend our lives avoiding pain and attaching to pleasure we cannot be in the present moment. When we live Tantra, we can not only just be in the present moment, but we can be fully alive and fully aware in this moment, resisting nothing and embracing all the human experience.
Designed to move you closer to the most authentic Self you can be, this retreat helps you integrate Tantra into all aspects of the human experience, with each day dedicated to working with one of the 7 chakras. There will be lots of deep embodiment practices so that change can happen at a cellular level. There will be a very safe container to hold you in this transformation.
With Love
Xx Chantelle
If you would like to learn more or have some questions about our sessions, events or academy programs, please get in touch.
Ready to step into your full potency and make a great living doing what you love? Join my free masterclass.
By agreeing to the Payment Plan Terms, Conditions and Schedule, you are agreeing to pay the deposit amount of $1,500 to secure your spot in the training, and then to pay the remaining amount via instalments as outlined in the table below.
| PAYMENT SCHEDULE |
| Payment #1 (deposit payment):This payment of $1,500 will be charged immediately on purchase, any time prior to the program commencing to secure the client’s place in the program. Program commences on 1st March. A new payment link will be sent to set up your remaining 4 payments. |
| Payment #2: This payment of $1,820 is due by the 27th February at latest and will need you to re-input your credit card details to set-up your remaining re-occurring payments |
| Payment #3: This payment of $3320 will be automatically deducted three months from the Payment #2 date |
| Payment #4: This payment of $3320 will be automatically deducted three months from the Payment #3 date |
| Payment #5: This payment of $3320 will be automatically deducted three months from the Payment #4 date |
‘The Owing Party’ refers to the client purchasing the training.
‘The Owed Party’ refers to Embodied Awakening Academy LLC.
Payments shall be made to the Owed Party via automatic debit from the card that the Owing Party provides details for at the time of initial purchase via the Embodied Awakening Academy website.
It is the Owing Party’s responsibility to ensure that they have sufficient funds available in anticipation of each future charge. If they need to change their card details, it is their responsibility to contact the Embodied Awakening Academy at least seven (7) days before a payment is due.
This purchase is non-refundable + you are trusting your desire to be involved. If
you are using a payment plan, you are obligated to pay as per the table above.
The results you experience will come from your own effort and motivation. We do
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are quietly confident this will change your life and we wholehearted welcome
people that are passionate and energised about doing this work.
Remaining payments #3 – #5 will be automatically deducted from the Owing Party’s credit card details, as entered at payment #2. Whilst the Owing Party cannot cancel or delete their credit card details as it is linked to their subscription, they can add an alternate payment method (i.e., update credit card details) in the payment system via their user dashboard.
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After all attempts have been exhausted, the Order Status will change from pending to cancelled, and the Payment Plan/Subscription Status will change from pending to on-hold. The Owing Parties’ access to the online training will then be paused indefinitely.
In the event that the Owing Party anticipates that they cannot make a payment by a payment due date, it is their responsibility to contact the Owed Party. These payment terms are absolute and final, however we also take a compassionate approach, so if there is a legitimate emergency requiring you to renegotiate a payment due date, please contact our team and this will be assessed on a case-by-case basis (training@embodiedawakeningacademy.com).
By agreeing to the Payment Plan Terms, Conditions and Schedule, you are agreeing to pay the training fee in 4 equal instalments (your total fee amount divided by 4).
The first payment acts as a deposit that secures your place in the training, and the following 3 payments occur every 3 months from the date of payment, for a total of 9 months.
| PAYMENT SCHEDULE |
| Payment #1 (deposit payment): This payment will be charged immediately on purchase, any time prior to the program commencing to secure theclient’s place in the program. Program commences on 1st March. |
| Payment #2: Three months from initial payment date |
| Payment #3: Six months from initial payment date |
| Payment #4: Nine months from initial payment date |
‘The Owing Party’ refers to the client purchasing the training.
‘The Owed Party’ refers to Embodied Awakening Academy LLC.
Payments shall be made to the Owed Party via automatic debit from the card that the Owing Party provides details for at the time of initial purchase via the Embodied Awakening Academy website.
It is the Owing Party’s responsibility to ensure that they have sufficient funds available in anticipation of each future charge. If they need to change their card details, it is their responsibility to contact the Embodied Awakening Academy at least seven (7) days before a payment is due.
Remaining payments will be automatically deducted from the Owing Party’s credit card details, as entered at deposit purchase. Whilst the Owing Party cannot cancel or delete their credit card details as it is linked to their subscription, they can add an alternate payment method (i.e., update credit card details) in the payment system via their user dashboard.
In the event that the Owing Party fails to make any payments in accordance with the Payment Plan by the due date, the payment system will retry the payment five times, at the following intervals:
After all attempts have been exhausted, the Order Status will change from pending to cancelled, and the Payment Plan/Subscription Status will change from pending to on-hold. The Owing Parties’ access to the online training will then be paused indefinitely.
In the event that the Owing Party anticipates that they cannot make a payment by a payment due date, it is their responsibility to contact the Owed Party. These payment terms are absolute and final, however we also take a compassionate approach, so if there is a legitimate emergency requiring you to renegotiate a payment due date, please contact our team and this will be assessed on a case-by-case basis (training@embodiedawakeningacademy.com).
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In no event shall the Academy be liable for any damages (including, without limitation, damages for loss of data or profit, or due to business interruption) arising out of the use or inability to use the materials on the Academy’s website or learning platforms, even if the Academy or an authorized of the Academy has been notified orally or in writing of the possibility of such damage. Because some jurisdictions do not allow limitations on implied warranties, or limitations of liability for consequential or incidental damages, these limitations may not apply to you.
This Training is for educational purposes only. The Academy and our subsidiaries, owners, principals, directors, executives, employees, staff, or agents are not mental health professionals, licensed medical practitioners, doctors, therapists, psychiatrists, psychologists, psychotherapists, or other professionally licensed health care providers or professionals. The material related to the Training will not treat or diagnose any disease, illness, or ailment and if you should experience any such issues, you should seek the advice and examination of your registered physician or practitioner as determined by your own judgement.
You understand the educational materials related to the Training is not a substitute for health care or medical advice of any kind. You understand and agree that you are fully responsible for your mental well-being, including your mental and physical choices and decisions.
You agree to seek medical advice as determined by your own judgement before taking any action in connection to the information provided or discontinuing use of any medications as prescribed by your medical practitioner. We shall in no Training be held liable to any party for any direct, indirect, punitive, special, incidental or other consequential damages arising directly or indirectly from any use of this material.
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This program is a deep dive container, and like any formal study program, there is a strong atmosphere of commitment. This work goes deep, and you will be undergoing a strong transformation process which requires dedication and time.
Therefore, there are no refunds just because you change your mind – regardless of when you choose to withdraw from the training.
For that reason, it is essential that you conduct your research and confirm that you are ready to undertake this work before you enrol.
You understand that once you have paid your deposit, you have committed to doing the work and paying for the full program.
Payment plans are offered to assist you in making this investment in your personal or business growth. You are required to complete payment in full, even if you choose to withdraw from the program while on a payment plan.
If you are prevented from participating in one of our programs due to extraordinary circumstances beyond your control, please contact us to discuss your situation. You may apply for a credit note up to 2 weeks before the training program commences, which may be granted at our sole discretion.
Credit may only be applied to an equivalent program and must be used within 24 months.
In addition, while we will endeavour to never cancel a Training, if Embodied Awakening Academy cancels a Training before or during a training, due to circumstances both within our direct control, or for any reasons or circumstance outside of our control, including but not limited to: acts of God (e.g. volcanic eruption, extreme weather Trainings, viral pandemic), war, terrorism, change of laws and regulations, political and/or social unrest, then you are entitled to:
In all cases, Embodied Awakening Academy is not responsible for your expenses incurred in preparation for any cancelled Training such as loss of work, and/or other costs associated with your participation.
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This code of conduct outlines our expectations for participant, student, teacher, contractor and Academy team member behavior as well as the consequences for unacceptable behavior.
We invite all persons involved with the Academy to help us realize a safe and positive environment for everyone.
Expected Behavior:
Unacceptable behaviors include: intimidating, harassing, abusive, discriminatory, derogatory or demeaning conduct by any participant.
Harassment includes: offensive verbal comments related to gender, sexual orientation, race, religion, disability; inappropriate use of nudity and/or sexual content; deliberate intimidation, stalking or following; harassing photography or recording; sustained disruption of talks or other events; inappropriate contact and/or communication, and unwelcome sexual attention.
Unacceptable behavior will not be tolerated by any person involved in the Academy.
Anyone asked to stop unacceptable behavior is expected to comply immediately.
If a person engages in unacceptable behavior, the Academy may take any action they deem appropriate, up to and including expulsion from our platforms and programs without warning or refund.
If you are subject to unacceptable behavior, notice that someone else is being subject to unacceptable behavior, or have any other concerns, please notify the Academy Support Team as soon as possible.
You can do this via email training@embodiedawakeningacademy.com
In addition, we reserve the right to delete any comments on our websites, training platforms or social media accounts which are rude, offensive or which we deem to be unacceptable. Please stick to respectful communication.
If you feel that there is any problem with our services, or you experience an incident of concern, please let us know within 7 days. We are keen to understand what has gone wrong if you are unhappy so that we can address your concerns and try to find a mutually acceptable solution.
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Please send an email to training@embodiedawakeningacademy.com to begin the process.
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We agree that neither of us will commence legal action until, in the opinion of the independent mediator, the potential for negotiation and mediation have been exhausted, except where urgent interlocutory relief such as an injunction is required.
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Any negative public discussion or comments made about us will be considered defamatory, negative, or otherwise damaging, and will be the subject of compensation in any mediation or litigation claim.
Embodied Awakening Academy, its trainers and training support staff are there to support you and provide you with a premium Training experience. Embodied Awakening Academy, its trainers and support staff are not to be relied on in place of your current health care professional or medical doctor while participating in the Training.
On choosing to enrol in a Training you assume personal responsibility to manage your current physical or mental health condition while engaging in the Training. Full disclosure of your current medical situation including but not limited to all relevant treatments and medications to Embodied Awakening Academy, its trainers and support staff prior to the Training and any changes occurring during the Training period must be communicated.
The materials appearing on the Academy’s website and learning platforms may include technical, typographical, or photographic errors. The Academy does not warrant that any of the materials on its web site are accurate, complete, or current. The Academy may make changes to the materials contained on its web site at any time without notice. The Academy does not, however, make any commitment to update the materials.
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The Academy may collect and use Students’ personal identification information for the following purposes:
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By agreeing to the Payment Plan Terms, Conditions and Schedule, you are agreeing to pay the training fee in 4 equal instalments (your total fee amount divided by 4).
The first payment acts as a deposit that secures your place in the training, and the following 3 payments occur every 3 months from the date of payment, for a total of 9 months.
| PAYMENT SCHEDULE |
| Payment #1 (deposit payment): This payment will be charged immediately on purchase, any time prior to the program commencing to secure the client’s place in the program. Program commences on 1st March. |
| Payment #2: Three months from initial payment date |
| Payment #3: Six months from initial payment date |
| Payment #4: Nine months from initial payment date |
‘The Owing Party’ refers to the client purchasing the training.
‘The Owed Party’ refers to Embodied Awakening Academy LLC.
The Owing Party reasonably believes it can pay the Owed Party without further interruption.
Payments shall be made to the Owed Party via automatic debit from the card that the Owing Party provides details for at the time of initial purchase via the Embodied Awakening Academy website.
It is the Owing Party’s responsibility to ensure that they have sufficient funds available in anticipation of each future charge. If they need to change their card details, it is their responsibility to contact the Embodied Awakening Academy at least seven (7) days before a payment is due.
This deposit and the payment plan is non-refundable. If you change your mind or withdraw for any reason, you are still obliged to continue to meet your payments, meaning you must complete your payment plan in full and you will not be given a refund of any kind.
Remaining payments will be automatically deducted from the Owing Party’s credit card details, as entered at deposit purchase. Whilst the Owing Party cannot cancel or delete their credit card details as it is linked to their subscription, they can add an alternate payment method (i.e., update credit card details) in the payment system via their user dashboard.
In the event that the Owing Party fails to make any payments in accordance with the Payment Plan by the due date, the payment system will retry the payment five times, at the following intervals:
After all attempts have been exhausted, the Order Status will change from pending to cancelled, and the Payment Plan/Subscription Status will change from pending to on-hold. The Owing Parties’ access to the online training will then be paused indefinitely.
In the event that the Owing Party anticipates that they cannot make a payment by a payment due date, it is their responsibility to contact the Owed Party. These payment terms are absolute and final, however we also take a compassionate approach, so if there is a legitimate emergency requiring you to renegotiate a payment due date, please contact our team and this will be assessed on a case-by-case basis (training@embodiedawakeningacademy.com).
No modification of this Agreement shall be valid unless in writing and agreed upon by both Parties.
This Event (workshop/course/retreat) is for educational purposes only. The Embodied Awakening Academy (EAA) and our subsidiaries, owners, principals, directors, executives, employees, staff, or agents are not mental health professionals, licensed medical practitioners, doctors, therapists, psychiatrists, psychologists, psychotherapists, or other professionally licensed health care providers or professionals. The material related to the Event will not treat or diagnose any disease, illness, or ailment and if you should experience any such issues you should seek the advice and examination of your registered physician or practitioner as determined by your own judgement.
You understand the educational materials related to the Event is not a substitute for health care or medical advice of any kind. You understand and agree that you are fully responsible for your mental well-being, including your mental and physical choices and decisions.
You agree to seek medical advice as determined by your own judgement before taking any action in connection to the information provided or discontinuing use of any medications as prescribed by your medical practitioner. We shall in no event be held liable to any party for any direct, indirect, punitive, special, incidental or other consequential damages arising directly or indirectly from any use of this material.
You acknowledge that during this Event you participate voluntarily in any and all activities arranged by the organisers, and insofar as legally permissible, surrender your right to any cause of action against Embodied Awakening Academy arising from any loss or damage to person, financial loss or property that occurs during the Event.
With regards to Covid-19, if you are unable to travel due to government enforced travel restrictions, border closures or quarantine enforcement, we will happily allow you to transfer your ticket to another of our events (within a year) or use the credit for online courses, which will incur a $120 USD administration fee. If you choose to cancel your ticket, then you forfeit your deposit amount.
While we will endeavour to never cancel an event, if Embodied Awakening Academy cancels an event, or changes a scheduled event date, due to circumstances within our direct control, then you are entitled to:
In all cases, Embodied Awakening Academy is not responsible for your expenses incurred in preparation for any cancelled event such as other accommodation, airline tickets, loss of work, and/or other costs associated with your attendance.
The responsibility to recover the non-refundable deposit from your insurance company is entirely yours, and we strongly suggest obtaining comprehensive travel insurance that includes event cancellation upon purchasing tickets to this event.
Tickets that are transferred to a future event are subject to the Terms & Conditions outlined in the new event that is being attended, once registration is complete. Until then, the current event terms and conditions remain applicable.
RESIDENTIAL RETREAT: Deposits are strictly non-refundable. Full price tickets include the non-refundable deposit as outlined in the retreat description.
If forty-five (45) days or more prior to the event start date you are unable to attend the event, for whatever reason, you may receive a refund of the amount paid to date, minus the non-refundable deposit, provided you notify the Embodied Awakening Academy (info@embodiedawakeningacademy.com) at least forty-five (45) days prior to the start of the event date.
If under forty-five (45) days out from the event start date you are unable to attend the event, for whatever reason, you will forfeit your deposit and any funds already paid and are NOT eligible for a transfer of enrolment to another event or product. Non-arrival will also incur the full amount of the booking.
We are financially responsible for our events, so we ask you to respect that we cannot make any exceptions to this agreement.
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All travellers must have a valid passport for international travel and many countries require at least 6 months validity from the date of return.
Embodied Awakening Academy, its trainers and event support staff are there to support you and provide you with a premium event experience. Embodied Awakening Academy, its trainers and support staff are not to be relied on in place of your current health care professional or medical doctor while attending the event.
On choosing to attend an event you assume personal responsibility to manage your current physical or mental health condition while attending the event. Full disclosure of your current medical situation including but not limited to all relevant treatments and medications to Embodied Awakening Academy, its trainers and support staff prior to the event and any changes occurring during the event period must be communicated. While during the event, if you require emergency medical attention in relation to your current medical condition Embodied Awakening Academy, its trainers and support staff will work with you to facilitate and locate a suitable health care professional.
If you’re situation requires consistent medical or health care support, please arrange this prior to arrival with a local health care professional to support you while attending the event, or choose to attend the event with your chosen health care professional from country of origin.
Note: If you do not wish to be personally filmed or photographed during the event you must communicate this to the trainers on arrival and we will refrain from using any identifiable images or videos of your person on our media platforms and digital content.
I hereby grant to Embodied Awakening Academy the absolute and irrevocable right and unrestricted permission to use photographic portraits / images / videos in which I feature that are taken during the course of the Event to use / republish / copyright, etc. for commercial use in association with Embodied Awakening Academy business. I hereby release and discharge Embodied Awakening Academy from any and all claims and demands arising out of or in connection with the use of the photographs and video footage, including without limitation any and all claims for libel or invasion of privacy.
