“The power of a person devoted to truth becomes a channel for healing grace that benefits all humanity.”
We hope someone else has the answer… The solution. The magic potion. But at the centre of your being, you have the answer. You know.
It’s so tempting to go out for answers… What’s she doing? What he doing? Forget all that! Being free is being able to bring everything back to you, to live at the centre of your own being. Our centre is our most valuable asset. It’s our compass. When we leave our centre, we lose our ability to grow and learn. The only way to live and love is by BEING you. Completely. To navigate a pathway of coming back into your heart, into your soul!
As life happens, and it does happen every day, it sometimes throws curlies at us!…However, as the Buddha said: – “Life is painful, Suffering is always optional”. It is optional because we always have the power to choose Love. In other words, events, other people’s actions and/or reactions, words etc. do not have the power to dictate or determine how you feel. Rather, our choices do. Our choice to go inward and know ourselves so that we can BE OURSELVES and be the love that we are!!!!
Now you may be thinking, sure, easier said than done! And you are right. It is difficult to live from our centre and authentic nature. Its much easier to respond or react in one of the following two ways (or a combination of both) that I feel, do not serve your growth and evolution: 1. Spiritual Bypass – bypassing the emotional body and going straight to consciousness without feeling the feelings – i.e. “love and light” with no real acknowledgement of the dark; and 2. Over indulging the emotional body – becoming a victim, blaming, shaming yourself and others, projecting, feeling like you are all alone in this world and so hard done by.
Here is my suggestion to you:- when something or someone does or says something that gives rise to anger, frustration, annoyance, sadness, hurt, fear, rejection etc. to come back to our centre we can do the following:
- Identify the emotion, (e.g. …god I am angry…..) You actually need to confirm this in your mind with words. And get real with how it feels to be angry, frustrated, scared, rejected etc. Uncomfortable at best, it makes you sick at its worst, literally. “The toxic arrows of your anger never reach your enemy, to poison or kill him, the toxins are all yours!” When we think or say; “God, that really hurt me!” or “… … it was like a knife in my heart!” or “he/she makes me feel so small/insignificant/powerless/useless etc.”; these are not merely metaphors, but rather an actual description of something that is very real to you.
- Validate it even if its totally irrational (Fair enough!…so I should be, I have every right to be angry……..etc.) rather than judge or berate yourself for feeling the emotion. This is a crucial step, be sure to implement it. (Harsh self judgement is insidious poison; always! E.g. “I am bad, I should know better, I fucked up…” etc. ) “What you resist, WILL persist “. It is often the inner wounded child that is feeling scared. Validate her/him.
- Then, Take a deep breath, focus on what you are feeling and and Exress and release what you are feeling through breath sound and movement. If it is someone that has triggered you do not express and release AT THEM. You need to release the emotions out of the nervous system or you will just be suppressing them, but try to do this on your own or with someone who is able to hold space and witness without judgement having been prepared for your intention to express and release. Be vulnerable, raw and real – cry, rage, punch pillows, throw a tantrum. RELEASE and let go! Please refer to my blog titled “The Emotional Body as a Gateway to Metamophsis”. Write, Play music, Dance, cry, scream…get it all out!!! This is how we get to know ourselves and get to know what makes us tick (and what makes us too ticking!).
- Meditate. Come back to Centre.
- A simple meditation:
- Place your hands palms down on your lower abdomen. Women use the right hand on the abdomen; men use the left hand.
- As you inhale, the abdomen expands, and as you exhale, the abdomen contracts. Regulate your breath to be deep, slow and even. Make your inhaled breath equal in length to your exhaled breath. Continue this pattern, allowing your entire body to relax, yet feel energized.
- Now allow yourself to release all the stress and story by moving your awareness to your breathing. Whilst your awareness remains on your breathing, create a mental picture of the life force energy as a bright light beginning to appear in your lower abdomen. At first, imagine it as an extremely small light, and as you continue to focus on your breath, and relax; imagine it gradually getting brighter and brighter. Soon it is so bright, it becomes like the Sun radiating so brightly you cannot look directly at it.
- As you inhale, see that the light radiates toward your lower back. As you exhale, this light of the life force energy moves back to where your hands are on your lower abdomen again. Allow each in- breath to pulse that bright light of life force energy to another point of your body. And on the out- breath the light pulses back to your abdomen again.
- Continue the deep, slow, gentle and even breathing, visualizing the light energy literally filling every part of your body. As it moves into each body space it leaves a residual of light behind, which also gradually gets brighter.
- See any part of your body that is unhealthy or painful receiving this light so that it calms, rejuvenates and heals. Within just a minute you can see your whole body filled with the radiant powerful light of the Sun.
- Continue the process of expanding the life force energy throughout your body for the duration of the meditation (from five to 20 minutes). Let go of any expectations. Feel the feelings of peace… love… joy… and of healing from within.
- If not totally cleared just stay present with yourself. You can inhale down the front of your spine (yin) and just check out whats remaining – feel! then exhale up and out the back of your spine (yang) everything that no longer serves. Enquire: What is my body telling me? What needs to change? Who do I need to forgive? (refer to blog “forgiveness meditation” if you are finding it difficult to forgive someone. What boundaries do I need to put i place? How can I reveal my vulnerable self to those who love me without a charge that blames, shames or tames them?
If you implement these four step in your life, make them a habit, I dare say you will experience a lot more joy and peace and a lot less of a dependency on external factors for feeling at peace. This in turn will bestow a greater capacity to come to know yourself and BE YOURSELF. If we can come to love and be the person we are often trying to hide, we can perhaps be comfortable and at ease in the raw beautiful truth of each moment.
We can perhaps be at ease with being present in our authentic heart, like an innocent child before he/she is conditioned or corrupted to the contrary. Be this way, don’t be that way! You should say this but you shouldn’t say that!! What were we like before we were taught to please, impress or act/appear a certain way.
We were honest, playful and real. As a child, there is no need to be seen in any way other than whats true. We can communicate from our vulnerable true heart and reveal ourselves rather than masking our deep needs, feelings and desires with some spiritual or superficial mask. The fear of rejection and commitment have not yet set in. So if you choose this path you, you reclaim the innocence of your emotional body and honest expression.
You move toward love rather than away from love. There isn’t such a need to impress or receive external acknowledgement, no need for an audience to have fun…no comparison, no jealousy, no desire to appear better than…just a willingness to enjoy life and reveal the truest part of you that you were born to experience.
And you will be so fucking grateful that you remembered. When we are willing to be transparent and vulnerable and reveal our distinct Selves to ourselves and to others in this world, we become revolutionary!!!
We become expressions of the sacred feminine and sacred masculine who are comfortable with it all: the silence, the doubts, the fears and imperfections as well the power, the love, the laughter, the joy and the sharing of our gifts. We burn with divine love and we are courageous enough to be present to that and show it…. “in here” and “out there”.
So perhaps begin exploring…what am I really feeling? what is here, in my heart and in my womb and in my belly? Get in touch with your inner child instead of repeatedly abandoning her, give the feelings validation and then move the energy.
Let your inner rose bossom. Be strong enough to open and reveal your precious heart and offer that scent out to the world. It means a bit of work. It means getting to know yourself rather than making the world responsible for your pain or bypassing it through your consciousness.
It means breaking old patterns and no longer hiding behind veils that shroud your vulnerability. It means having to sit in the uncomfortability of silence and pure presence until it becomes more comfortable than anything else.
When we are able to be our real authentic selves, and share from an authentic place of heart, we no longer need to talk about people or events. We no longer need to do a big song and dance. We are no longer attached to the story. And we feel peace…ahhhhhhh….and Joy.
It’s also the only way we truly connect, teach each other and lift each other up….help each other to develop compassion and a sense of not being alone in the darkness. Being brothers and sisters is living from the centre of our heart….unveiled, fully alive, fully present, and totally out of control.
On choosing the path of being the real me, I have made many many changes in my life, and yet I have come closer to myself every time. It’s scary to let down your guard – to be fully known and vulnerable. It’s scary for me because I fear punishment, rejection, and the feeling of being unimportant to the ones I open up to.
And this has happened. I have been rejected and punished and left to feel unimportant. But this was simply reflecting the part of my own masculine that was still judging me for having sad or angry feelings. When I began to really validate my feelings, express and release them, come back to my centre and speak up from a clear place, I no longer doubted myself and no longer needed the reflection of the unhealthy masculine who was in judgement.
The amazing man I have attracted into my life now, who I am so grateful to, holds space for my authentic feelings so beautifully that it actually brings me to tears. I am learning that the more I open up and allow him to see the real me, the more love and grace I receive.
When I choose to let down my guard he only encourages me to speak my truth even more! He shows up and even thanks me for teaching him!!!!
When you live from your core, your belly, your heart, your soul leads and spirit guides you, and your words and actions will be naturally subversive. You will go to your edge. You will soften. Become wildly tender.
Question is, will you wholly inhabit your own revolution? In beauty? This inner revolution is a perpetual ceremony of the heart. It’s what you are for.
When you are real, cooked down to essence, rather than half-baked to get approval, to look good, the projections from others may fly, seek you out and try to stick to you. Don’t let them. Instead, let your authenticity support you in carrying on whole-hearted, vulnerable conversation to resolve whatever arises.
It is hard work. Uncomfortable. Deeply human. Can be harrowing. And often downright delicious. Intimate. Naked. Courageous work marked by your solid presence. Here. Now.
I’d rather be whole than good, C. G. Jung said. And by whole, he meant real, messy, ensouled, deeply human, heart-broken open with compassion flowing first to ourselves, to resource and prepare to let it flow widely, to others.
Being too comfortable, amenable, pliable to the point of contorting yourself — is a ticket to selling your soul right up the river. Don’t buy it. When you live from your own knowing-ness, from your gut and your wildly-rooted intelligence, you feel alive. Genuinely, joyful, creatively alive.
Being real — true to your Self, your soul — is gritty. And grit causes friction, makes fire to clear the way for living a revolutionary act. This act is marked by action that the earth and the soul of the world are crying out for. And the cry is going to get louder, more pain-filled, and grievous before enough souls answer wholeheartedly.
Get real, it is actually not about you. Your individual program is only the ground from which you step. From which you step and choose whether you will make this life of yours a walk of grit and beauty, or one of accommodation to the forces that insist you do it their way, be well-behaved, produce, consume, make nice, and as the poet, Mary Oliver says, “barely breathing and calling it a life.”
Thing is we’re not talking a self-improvement project; that’s only the gateway. We are being used. By Spirit. One way or the other: we go consciously or we are abducted — individually and collectively, now. So it’s a great time to dive in…”
by Melissa La Flamme
It is important to know that the triggers for our actions and reactions which where seeded by past events, often in our childhood years, can require a skilled Practitioner to facilitate a process that dissolves these and the effect they have in your life now. For instance, you may become frozen when you are triggered, or go totally unconscious and fly off the handle in gap rage or become desperately uncontrollably needy as a result of deep wounds.
It may feel as though you are totally incapable of staying in your body and/or as though you do not have a choice and that your unconscious has complete control over your life. If this is the case, or you feel like you need some help with the above mentioned steps, then please feel comfortable to phone me and discuss further Contact me!