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Shifting from Control to Trust

Shifting from control to trust is key to living our passion and in becoming a spiritually response-able adult. 

We grow up thinking that being responsible means getting a job with a good salary, having enough security that we can buy a house, having enough money to look after our children, going on an annual holiday and accumulating the possessions we desire, and saving enough money so we can eventually retire on a pension and have some relaxation time.

But what if being response-able is more about having the ability to respond to our own truth? The ability to trust and move through life from our own knowing, wisdom, intuition and heart’s desires? The ability to trust that everything will flow perfectly from this awareness?

From this place, we can trust that our own hearts and vision will guide us to exactly where we need to be, at all times. We can surrender, rather than being stuck in fear and screwing things up with the ego’s demands for security and conformity.

Trusting ourselves, allows us to listen rather than control. Listening allows us to surrender to the flow and to destiny, knowing that it is our soul that best serves us to be in charge, not the fears of our ego.

Going down the path of trust and responding to my heart and my own innate wisdom, has brought me to where I am now. I could not have become a successful Tantra teacher if I listened to the fears of my ego. I had to listen to what I was feeling deep within me, by trusting my inner excitement and newfound passion. In the process of following my heart it was not just law I had to leave behind, I had to leave numerous jobs that no longer inspired me – from running a business for new mums, to being a motivational coach and sales trainer of a large corporate organisation. Every single time I trusted my heart’s calling, whatever I was worried about was almost magically taken care of – every time – this is the power of deep trust and surrender. It is as though the universe rewarded my courage and dedication to truth.

When I left my corporate job, it was at quite a financially volatile time for myself and my family, and there was even an offer of a huge pay increase. My mind had so many reasons why I should play it safe and stay in my secure job, but my intuition, passion and desire for Tantra and to teach it was so strong. I didn’t know how it was going to work out, but deep down I knew that if I didn’t follow my heart, I would be miserable. From the moment I decided to follow my inner knowing and take the leap of faith, I knew I made the right choice. By loving myself enough to follow my heart and do what I loved, that very same love guided me to becoming a teacher of love, and the financial remuneration has flowed to me with that same energy of love ever since. There were challenges, but as I moved through each of them, I grew and became more powerful as a result.

The biggest shifts in my life – from letting go of the attachment to safety and fear of the ego, to really trusting myself – have been through hearing my soul speak and learning to trust my intuition as the most reliable voice.

Mahatma Gandhi explained his sense of it: “What is Truth? A difficult question; but I have solved it for myself by saying that it is what the ‘voice within’ tells you.”

If everything is screaming inside you to leave your job or your degree – listen! Your mind may think it is too risky to give up a salary, certificate, job security, or familiar surroundings because you may fail. I suggest that there are no risks at all if you truly trust your heart’s calling and have faith in Spirit to provide you with all that you need to follow that calling.

You are a divine, infinite creation making the choice to be on purpose and to be connected to the power of inner wisdom. It all revolves around you being committed and connected to your vision. Trust drastically eliminates the risk when you choose to listen to you inner knowing about your purpose.

A good way to know what feels right for you in terms of who you want to be, rather than buying into the role models you grew up with, is to ask yourself:

  • Who inspires me?
  • Who excites me?
  • Who do I look at and want to be like?
  • Who rouses my passions?
  • Whose life would I love to have?

In other words, find someone who can be a role model for you and find out what they did to get to where they are. By modelling (not copying) the energy and strategies of people whose life you would want to live, you can dramatically shortcut your learning curve and save yourself a ton of time, effort, energy and money. Why? Because the best way to learn is though imitation. Also, the people who you look up to, are the keepers of your golden shadows – the exceptional parts of yourself that you cannot see, and you do not own but that you see very clearly in others.

For example:

  • You might idolise others for their mindset, values, ambition, success, habits and the way they live their life, yet deny those traits or possibilities within yourself
  • Perhaps you become triggered into jealousy and comparison around those who have high levels of ambition, drive and joyfulness
  • When you see others getting out in the world happily and going after their goals you are filled with self-doubt or envy
  • You see another as possessing incredible qualities, whilst not seeing these qualities in yourself because you are so busy beating up on yourself, comparing yourself and criticising yourself.

So instead of being jealous of another person, or doubtful of yourself, start to see the reflection and own those same qualities in you!

Whatever qualities lie dormant within you are ready to be expressed and seen in the world. Use the people that intimidate or impress you as inspiration and allow their image to be reflected within you.

For more on how you can Live Your Passion, download the complete first chapter of my Mastery and Purpose course manual HERE.

Picture of Chantelle Raven

Chantelle Raven

Chantelle raven is a gifted healer and sought after international speaker on sacred relationship and sacred sexuality. Her mission is providing education in radical self-responsibility and the sacred dance of masculine and feminine within and without.